Day 20 of the WEGO Blog Writing Challenge: Miracle Cure!!!

Posted: April 24, 2012 in Medical Conditions, Research
Tags: ,

Our writing prompt today is for us to write a news release about a miracle cure – a faux one of course…I took some grad classes in clinical research which required us to do a complete study on a faux drug. I will use that drug, as I think it would be phenomenal!

HALTZ-Perm APPROVED!
The transdermal patch that was created by Dr. Lori Schneider for use in the killing fields of Iraq and Afghanistan has finally passed the FDA’s 37-step approval process and is now available for use domestically and can be prescribed by your primary care physician.
The original intent of HALTZ was to create an instant block between a traumatic injury and the brain, allowing functionality of the body part to remain intact, while dulling the pain from the injury. The patch acts as a neural bypass – a smooth road, of sorts – for neural transmission to take place to allow function of an injured leg, for example, without the brain “knowing” about the damage that the limb sustained. It was a quick fix, until the injured soldier could reach a neural regenerator at one of the major military hospitals in the world.
How does this translate to use in a PCP’s office? A patient presenting to the PCP with chronic pain from any number of causes would have the patch placed over he affected area. The genetic sensors in HALTZ identify the faulty “wiring” causing the patient’s pain and construct a adjunctive neural network, allowing for smooth signal transmission. Unlike the temporary HALTZ used in war, the newly approved HALTZ-Perm actually eventually integrates into the patient, matrixing with the patient’s body tissues. Reapplication is not necessary.
Due to the unique design of everyone’s neural network (for example, I have 2 sciatic nerves down each side of my legs, not just one, like most people), HALTZ-Perm will do away with the assumptive decision-making of practitioners and reassemble working nerves in the patient’s body, as they were meant to be, not as practitioners “think” they should be.
HALTZ-Perm can also used intraoperatively, to correct malformations of nerves that cause horrific pain and a considerable amount of disability and lost work days.
As of this news release, HALTZ-Erm is only approved for use of the correction of painful areas due to injury or improper healing from earlier, pre-nanotechnology injuries (such as RSD and CPS). HALTZ developers hope to use the ability of their patented genetic engineering compounds to restore use of paralyzed limbs. FDA testing on human tissues (laboratory grown) to begin in early 2013.

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