Hey Lifetime, make a movie of THIS!

Posted: November 27, 2012 in about me, Coping, History, Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Psychological Abuse
Tags: , , , , ,

I cannot believe there is a show on TV called “My Life is a Lifetime Movie,” and dammit, why haven’t they called me yet? My life, documented on video, would be more than one Lifetime movie. Which pieces of my life would get the best ratings??

Would it be the movie about my childhood, the 14 yrs of sexual, physical and psychological abuse by my father, and how I, despite all the ugliness and my mother’s denial, became a super achiever and a teenage alcoholic but still ended up in college at 16. Highlights include how I survived several “date rapes” (some with impressive dramatic flourish) and the life lessons I learned by hanging out in an Irish bar in Pensacola, FL.

Or, would it be the sequel to that one, about my bizarre first marriage at 18 to a Navy officer and how I “grew up” during his deployments, and how he didn’t like the grown up me, and thus propelled me into my first divorce, my “downward spiral” and the discovery of my fucked-up-ness and my first journey into therapy and how I discover just how much my dysfunctional childhood has messed me up.

Perhaps it would be the movie that follows the path I travelled to become a police officer, how I tried my hardest to rise above the effects of my disgusting childhood, and the oh-so-very fucked up people (other cops) I worked with and our sad, comedic, and almost unbelievable adventures with every nook and cranny of society. I first encountered a physical limitation (Rayauds) during this time, and I got a raw dose of gender-based harassment (legally known as the “hostile work environment”). Acceptance of females in law enforcement will never exist. Never. There are some very gritty reasons why I left “the job,” and even so, not a day goes by that I don’t miss wearing the uniform.

Or, it could be the stand-alone movie that follows my adjustment to life after police work, my serial monogamy, my entry into the twisted and beautiful world of EMS (emergency medical services), and the fantastic friendships, devastating betrayals and immoral forays that happen in all EMS communities. Yeah…I’d definitely TiVo that one….

Then, there’s the absolutely un-Disneylike thrill ride I’ve been on since 1994. My sociopathic (officially diagnosed!) now-ex-husband made my life into several episodes ofCops, and my continued struggle for perfection through physical training and workplace achievements to try to compensate for my poor choice of s spouse and the God-awful embarrassment of facing a 3d divorce. The abuse he inflicted on a daily basis was so psychologically twisted and emotionally damaging, I find it hard to believe I lived 5 and a half years with the fear of never knowing what he would do next. I eventually escape into what’s left of my life, optimistically at first, only to have my social network crumble, my dear mother suffer a disfiguring stroke and suffer for years in her disintegrating condition, and then after she passes, my health turns against me. The Lifetime moment in this saga is finding, by pure coincidence, my amazing husband, who has stuck by me through all tragedy, surgeries and soul-swilling depression for the last 11 years.

I’ve not included the gory details in my brief descriptions, and there are far more plot twists and turns than any other Lifetime movie has ever shown, and much more unconscionable bizarreness than any Lifetime movie writer ever thought of.

So, Lifetime, what do you think?



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