Most of you that have read my blog posts know that I am not AT ALL that into the hippy-dippy rainbows and bunnies feel-good blather that lots of health bloggers resort to – you know, the “look at ME! I’m so SUNNY and POSITIVE!” and other oooey gooey syrupy sweet platitudes…anyway…so this will be a shocker – THIS IS A POSITIVE POST!!!

(Do alert the media!)

SunnyCrap

I live to eat. I am honestly shocked I am not seriously overweight. So, when I found out that having an autonomic nervous system disorder meant that I had to “keep the tank full” (my docs exact words – and by that he meant drink lots of healthy beverages and eat small amounts often) – I was psyched! Especially so, because if I did it right, I wouldn’t have to take that awful medicine to bring up my blood pressure above zombie level!

But, it wasn’t until recently that I began to find true JOY in having this condition.

Why?

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BACON!!!!

The absolute BEST part of having this medical condition is having an actual, bona-fide medical requirement that I eat a high-salt diet!! And that means…BACON! What other medical condition do you know of that gives you license to eat the high-sodium awesomeness that is BACON??!!

BACON!!!

I now actually look forward to getting up in the morning…because I know I can start my day with 5 slices of BACON! That just makes me giddy!

Another great thing about having to eat 4 grams of sodium a day – FRENCH FRIES! (But, I find that it is not easy to find consistently good french fries…so BACON continues to remain my go-to salt-laden food item.) However, I can now liberally SALT my tomatoes, celery or steak with wild abandon! Blandness shall never be a guest at my table again!

You know what else I enjoy? No longer having to shop for reduced-sodium everything else!! YES! When I shuffle through the grocery store (or when I sit on the floor in front of the soups when my blood pressure suddenly and inconveniently decides to tank) I feel like a kid in a candy store in the 1930’s! I can choose WHATEVER I WANT! No low-sodium soups! No low-salt peanut butter!! No low-sodium ANYTHING! I can buy the good old-fashioned all-American high salt products we all grew up eating.

Why do I have to consume copious amounts of sodium? Well, ya see, sodium helps cells retain fluid. When the body goes haywire and develops and autonomic nervous system disorder, the body’s blood pressure regulator stops working and causes the blood pressure to drop dangerously low. By consuming salt, the body is forced to hold onto fluids, which increases the volume in the system, and raises the blood pressure – naturally!

The daily symptoms of chest pain, difficulty breathing, headaches, gastroparesis, life-robbing fatigue and erratic heart rate are all worth it.

I am allowed to eat bacon!!!

YIPPEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: March 14, 2013
Baaaaaad news. Well, I guess we already knew this, but here is more evidence – bacon (and other similarly processed meats) are NOT good for you. See, Bacon isn’t good…

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Comments
  1. Kym says:

    If I come over will you make me some BACON??!! Miss you.

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