I just spent three hours researching the advances in pain neuromodulation technology, suitable for someone with my condition. I had a conversation with my anesthesiologist that had left me “hopeful.” (I will live to regret feeling this way. Just wait…) Based on what I found, perhaps they’ll have something suitable for my condition 10 to 20 years after BItcoin becomes the World currency – not in 6 months, and not in a couple of years like he had mentioned.

So much for “hope.” How dare I think positively about the possibility that there might be a treatment out there that would be helpful for me.

As I have always said, “there’s no room in medicine for hope or unicorns.”

I have reached the end of my rope.

These sleepless nights are complete hell for both me and my husband.

My pain doctor tells me that there are no options left for me – in the United States anyway, until the U.S. decides to catch up with the needs of patients like me, as have other countries in other parts of the world the recognize that patients with chronic pain need pain relief – other than drugs – so we can sleep.

I’ve tried every intervention, Eastern, Western, New Age, etc., all to no avail. I’ve had six surgeries just for this pain issue. And I am STILL left with miserable pain that keeps me up at night, that now, due to the fact I can only lay on one side, my L rotator cuff that has already been repaired twice is re-torn.

I am left without options. Basically, I am a useless pain generator that takes up space in my tiny condo and hurt myself somehow whenever I try to do more than walk across the room (i.e., laundry, vacuuming, emptying dishwasher, etc.).

I’m not even going to mention the other chronic health issues I have to deal with. Compared to this pain issue, those are soooo secondary.

Please don’t tell me to try this exercise or that therapy or meditate or pray or try yoga etc. I’ve done all that. Remember, it’s been almost 17 years now that I’ve been dealing with this. And it’s been almost 17 years that I’ve been misdiagnosed by doctors. I have FIVE pages of “interventions I have tried…and yes, I have seen a Shaman and had my Chakras cleaned. And had prolotherapy…I just know someone wanted to throw that one out there.

Most people are “new” to the chronic pain community…they have suffered only a few months or a few years. I’ve lost who I was  – my life, my career, my motivation, my friends – all because of being a person in chronic pain. Try 17 years of pain….multiple surgeries….countless treatments…and still being in pain.

And alone. No one wants to be friends with a person that has chronic health issues.

No one wants to help a person in chronic health issues,

[I’m not bringing up all the misdiagnoses that occurred since I was 12 years old…That’s a whole other set of stories for another time.]

My point writing this blog entry?

To illustrate that all the good intentions, the finding of promising research, and having a great PCP, really doesn’t make a difference when there is absolutely nothing out there, short of suicide, that’s going to take away this pain.

Those of you with chronic illnesses know that finding a support system is not easy. I don’t have a support system. Literally – well, other than my husband, that can take me to an OCCASIONAL pain management appointment. Since he is not allowed to take days off from his job without repercussions, he can only do this on work holidays. This means that the treatments that I’m able to receive are few and far between, and not in line with the recommendations of the doctor.

Nope, and there’s not a single soul on the face of the planet, that has the time, inclination, ability, desire or compassion to help me get to these appointments that I desperately need to go to to get the help I need.

I know. I had the pleasure of being humiliated when I’ve asked and watched them struggle to come up with excuses as to why they “can’t.”

Perhaps is just because I live in Massachusetts, and that’s the way people are here – too busy and too self-involved to help anyone else that’s in need.

My suggested solution?

How about a service, something like “ZipCar,” in which  you can “rent” a “responsible person” to accompany you to these appointments and drive you safely home after your procedure????

Hmmm… I wonder if TaskRabbit offers a similar service…I know that works on a bidding system. …

[Yes, I know there are medical transport services available now, but they charge exorbitantly high prices (minimum $250 PLUS mileage!!!!), and that is not exactly budget-friendly someone on disability.]

Ideally, some altruistic person or agency could open up a respite home for those in chronic pain like me. We could all be put together so we are no longer a burden, a hassle, an annoyance and/or exasperation to what family we have left. And, we would not annoy them when we can’t sleep through the pain that we are all in all night. We could all sit u together and try to distract each other from the pain we are in. (Like me, tonight.)

Oh, wait. That won’t work, either. This is Massachusetts. No such place like that could ever exist here. Never mind!! What was I thinking?

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Comments
  1. Hello Lori. I landed on your website after a google search for Gary Crowley. I am curious, have you ever sat down and met with a Upper Cervical Chiropractor? The website that has the largest database is http://www.upcspine.com. (That is where I send all of my patients who want to refer a family member that lives out of our area). If you would like, please contact me info@whatisnucca.com so that I can direct you to which Upper Cervical doc I would recommend in your area. -jamie

  2. Christine says:

    I wish I had a good suggestion, but I just wanted to tell you I understand and am in a similar position. It’s a lonely, scary, disenheartening place, and I truly understand. Thank you so much for bringing this to light!

  3. Jackie says:

    I’m sorry you don’t have a support system and your options for pain relief in this country are all worn out. I don’t know what I’d do without my support system. If you don’t already know this, there is a website called care.com where you can seek out people to help with all sorts of things. You can perform background checks and the like. I bet you could find someone to drive you through a website such as that one.

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